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*Don’t worry kids! This piece is satirical, but discusses the very real possibility of your parents having to pay a costly new mileage tax being proposed by California Democrats next year*
Ho-ho- oh no! After years of trying to impose a tax on Santa Claus, California politicians may have found a way to finally get St. Nick to pay up through a proposed “Mileage Tax.”
“It is obvious that Santa Claus has been earning excess profits for years – you can see that when he flaunts his wealth by giving out so many gifts – and it is time we force this fat cat to pay his fair share,” said Gov. Gavin Newsom in unveiling the Mileage Tax on sleighs proposal.
California voters have repeatedly voted against efforts by California Democrat politicians to tax Santa Claus. In 2020 they voted down a “Christmas Gift Tax” and in 2022 they voted down a “Reindeer Registration Fee.”
But this year California Democrats are proposing a Mileage Tax on any airborne Sleighs. And they think they can fool voters into approving the tax by placing a misleading title on the measure that says “Better Christmas Gifts for All Initiative.”
Newsom and California Democrats say the measure also combats discrimination. “We have data to show that Santa Claus has engaged in rampant discrimination against people he deems to be naughty,” said a press aide to the Governor.
“The amount owed by Mr. Claus will go to provide reparations to individuals that were placed on Santa’s naughty list in the past 150 years – and help offset the carbon footprint caused by the emissions of his reindeers,” said Newsom.
Carl DeMaio, chairman of Reform California, said he strongly opposed the tax on Santa Claus and would lead the campaign to defeat the proposal
The Mileage Tax on sleighs proposal would impose a new 6 cent per mile ‘fee’ on all airborne sleighs – but DeMaio says the measure clearly has been written to specifically target Santa Claus.
“I mean, like who else has a flying sleigh?” DeMaio asked. “Nancy Pelosi has a broom, which is clearly exempted from the proposal,” added DeMaio.
“These greedy liberal politicians in Sacramento will stop at nothing to tax us out of every dime that they can get,” said DeMaio. “Even if they have to raid the pockets of a saint!”
Since Santa Claus makes so many deliveries in California, the total tax levy would exceed $8 billion this Christmas alone.
Claus said that the tax would make it nearly impossible for him to keep operating and providing presents in California.
“Like so many others, I will be forced to cease all business operations in California,” Claus noted.
DeMaio said he hoped it wouldn’t come to that – and that children will still receive their gifts for years to come.
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While this piece is satirical, the Mileage Tax itself is a very real threat brewing in San Diego County. DeMaio and Reform California are leading the fight to stop the Mileage Tax and other tax increases throughout the state. Join the campaign today to help make California more affordable.
